So you may ask how did all this start? Sit back my friends i will spin ya a yarn.
A long time ago in a Pet Shop not so far away...
A young man whilst trying to catch a Koi (ya know the fish). One leg up in the air, a knee on the bench, a supporting arm on the edge. He stretches out with the other arm and makes a scoop with his net. Then a nice *POP* in his back. "Holy Moly!" that didn't sound good. But hey I got the fish. So it begins an era of ice and heat packs for the next 6 years.
Fast Forward to a loading dock kinda near the Pet Shop not to far away...
Load, load, load lots of heavy boxes and no help, every other day. Pull em from the pallets up and down, then onto the hand truck, then onto the bed of the truck, then onto truck itself. Finally finish. Backs not feeling so hot. Now ya gotta deliver all those boxes. Finish the day. Back is screaming. One day go home and pass out. Get up and cant walk for the next 3 days. This will happen again and again for the next 10 years. Although not always in the same way. So begins the era of painkillers.
3 Years ago oddly nuff in the same truck were is all started...
"Oh man that wasn't good." -Me.
"Dude what was that sound." -The dude.
"Ugh that was my back."-Me.
"Dude. that didn't sound good, you ok?" -The dude.
"Negative Kemosaby."-Me.
"Dude, not good"-The dude.
This was the begging of the end. 12 Months of pain and painkillers. Just to be able to get by day to day. Couldn't walk for 4 days, walked with a limp for 2 months, suffered for the next 10 months. Taking one for the team. Nuff was Nuff. I'm outta here. So begins the hydrocodone addiction era.
2 Or so years ago in a Dr.Office...
One healthy prescription was giving for hydrocodone. Enuff to last a nice long time. Didn't have the job anymore. Pain was going away. Oh well. Nothing better to do might as well take some pills.
That was the begging of the end.
So what the hell happened...
As i was working i only took 1 5mg pill at night after work. No big deal. Back was killing me after work couldn't sleep. Then i left my job but still had a butt load of pills. That 1 5mg pill a day became 2 pills a day. And then 3 a day. Then i got cut off. "No more" said the doc. Good move on his part he saw what was up. Was clean for about a month. Withdrawals not so bad, but bad enuff to not forget what it was like. 3 or 4 days of solid flu like symptoms and a solid month of goose pimples everyday.
Then blew out my back again and got back on the pill train for a short stint and got up to about 4 5mg pills a day. Then got cutoff again, except this time the WD's were different way different. This time they sucked bad. Tried to cure it with Tylenol w/codeine. Bad choice. Something wasnt cool with those. A few days later the anxiety kicked in. This is the part i didn't expect and threw me for a loop, full on freak out. Had to get more pills somehow. It was the only way to stop it. Solution, a new doc a very generous new doc. My 5mg pills went to 10mg pills and i was getting alot more. So now was i not only getting x2 strength pills but x3 as many.
This is when things really got out of hand. I kept taking the same amount of pills even thou they were twice as strong. Effectively doubling the amount i was taking overnight. 4 a day turned into 5 and that turned into 6 and sometimes 7. Thats the nasty thing with opiates you start to build a tolerance to them and have to keep upping your dosage.
Which leads me to my current situation. Ya, sure i tried to quit several times. The withdrawal's were always to brutal and that damn anxiety was always hiding right around the corner. That was the killer that little anxiety bastard. That demon got a real hold on me. He even started popping up his ugly little head when i was taking pills, little bugger.
A long time ago in a Pet Shop not so far away...
A young man whilst trying to catch a Koi (ya know the fish). One leg up in the air, a knee on the bench, a supporting arm on the edge. He stretches out with the other arm and makes a scoop with his net. Then a nice *POP* in his back. "Holy Moly!" that didn't sound good. But hey I got the fish. So it begins an era of ice and heat packs for the next 6 years.
Fast Forward to a loading dock kinda near the Pet Shop not to far away...
Load, load, load lots of heavy boxes and no help, every other day. Pull em from the pallets up and down, then onto the hand truck, then onto the bed of the truck, then onto truck itself. Finally finish. Backs not feeling so hot. Now ya gotta deliver all those boxes. Finish the day. Back is screaming. One day go home and pass out. Get up and cant walk for the next 3 days. This will happen again and again for the next 10 years. Although not always in the same way. So begins the era of painkillers.
3 Years ago oddly nuff in the same truck were is all started...
"Oh man that wasn't good." -Me.
"Dude what was that sound." -The dude.
"Ugh that was my back."-Me.
"Dude. that didn't sound good, you ok?" -The dude.
"Negative Kemosaby."-Me.
"Dude, not good"-The dude.
This was the begging of the end. 12 Months of pain and painkillers. Just to be able to get by day to day. Couldn't walk for 4 days, walked with a limp for 2 months, suffered for the next 10 months. Taking one for the team. Nuff was Nuff. I'm outta here. So begins the hydrocodone addiction era.
2 Or so years ago in a Dr.Office...
One healthy prescription was giving for hydrocodone. Enuff to last a nice long time. Didn't have the job anymore. Pain was going away. Oh well. Nothing better to do might as well take some pills.
That was the begging of the end.
So what the hell happened...
As i was working i only took 1 5mg pill at night after work. No big deal. Back was killing me after work couldn't sleep. Then i left my job but still had a butt load of pills. That 1 5mg pill a day became 2 pills a day. And then 3 a day. Then i got cut off. "No more" said the doc. Good move on his part he saw what was up. Was clean for about a month. Withdrawals not so bad, but bad enuff to not forget what it was like. 3 or 4 days of solid flu like symptoms and a solid month of goose pimples everyday.
Then blew out my back again and got back on the pill train for a short stint and got up to about 4 5mg pills a day. Then got cutoff again, except this time the WD's were different way different. This time they sucked bad. Tried to cure it with Tylenol w/codeine. Bad choice. Something wasnt cool with those. A few days later the anxiety kicked in. This is the part i didn't expect and threw me for a loop, full on freak out. Had to get more pills somehow. It was the only way to stop it. Solution, a new doc a very generous new doc. My 5mg pills went to 10mg pills and i was getting alot more. So now was i not only getting x2 strength pills but x3 as many.
This is when things really got out of hand. I kept taking the same amount of pills even thou they were twice as strong. Effectively doubling the amount i was taking overnight. 4 a day turned into 5 and that turned into 6 and sometimes 7. Thats the nasty thing with opiates you start to build a tolerance to them and have to keep upping your dosage.
Which leads me to my current situation. Ya, sure i tried to quit several times. The withdrawal's were always to brutal and that damn anxiety was always hiding right around the corner. That was the killer that little anxiety bastard. That demon got a real hold on me. He even started popping up his ugly little head when i was taking pills, little bugger.
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