Final Goal: Day 30

30 days and all is well, almost.
The difference in the way i feel is very apparent. I have regained energy, desire, drive, i want to be apart of the living. No more paranoia, anxiety, depression, or even a desire to take pills. The fear of withdrawal always kept me taking the pills. And yet it only took 30 days to get free of them. Honestly it really only took about 3 weeks to feel free. The first week was pure hell and it felt like it lasted 30 days. The 2nd week was alot of ups and downs and trying to stay focused on the fact it was going to get better. The 3rd week things were looking up. The 4th week has been just getting back to normal and fighting to get my old life back. Even thou i have hit my goal i have to remember that the demon is always there waiting for its chance to regain control and i must stay vigilant. With Gods grace i hope to do just that. I cant overstate how finding the power of God has helped me thru all this. Sometimes bad things happen to good people for a reason and it shows them the light and the way.
For those of you out there that may have read or are reading this and are experiencing the same problem. I can tell you its not as hard as you think it will be to stop. It just takes willpower and you have to want to quit. Even with almost no support except for 1 friend i hardly knew sending me a simple text and being left to fend for myself i was able to do it. It can be hard if not impossible for others to understand what you went thru or that there frustration towards you was the drugs influencing your behavior and at times you were out of your own control. Hopefully they will understand and be there to support you, sometimes they wont. I used this negative experience to look inward on myself. It made me stronger and better. I used this blog to empower my mind and dissect myself to a positive end. Being able to express and share my experience even if it was with only 1 person gave me the strength i needed. Once you get to the point i am at now and you will wonder why you ever let it get a hold of you. Drugs just are not worth it.