So its been 3 long weeks and i feel better now than i ever have. Reflecting back i find it impossible to believe what happened, what i did, and how it changed me. I hit bottom as low as i could get. My will to find a new job gone, desire to improve myself gone, lost my health both physical and mental, accomplished nothing in over 2 years, alienated friends and family, wasted opportunity, wasted money, lost faith, and maybe lost the woman i love. It took all that to snap me out of it and realize i lost control. Realize i was destroying my life and affecting the lives of those closest to me. It all seems so ridiculous now that i would have done this to myself.
The good news is out of all this came positive and affirming changes. As i was suffering thru my withdrawal i came to realize a great many things. Some of those things i had taken for granted for along time. Others i knew and just needed a reminder of how lucky i am. Sometimes ya gotta sink to the bottom before you can rise to the top and see the sunshine and gain some clarity on life.
Revelations:
The drug demon is dead. He has been slain with some help from above.
Friends and family are the greatest things you have. Dont waste them.
Tired of being a home body. Get out and experience what life has to offer its not gonna kill ya. No arguing just do it.
Dont be afraid to meet new people and make new friends and show them who you are.
Its not enough to think that you love somebody. You have to say it and show it.
If you dont they will never know.
Give youself and your time to those you love. Share and talk to them. You can never express enough how much they mean to you.
If you let God into your heart your heart will be healed. You will learn what love is. Then you can truly love and be loved and mend broken relationships.
There are more important things in this world than yourself. Give yourself and time to others.
Take nothing for granted everything is a gift.
You are not your true fathers son. You dont share his fate.
Change can happen but you have to want it and work for it.
This has made you a stronger better person.
Its never to late.
God is out there and he forgives you.
4 comments:
Hi Friend, Meg here checkin' in to say hi. You have done this with such aplomb. I did it, too, but it wasn;t pretty and I got no points for style, LOL!! You have been ever so much cooler than I ever was in my c/t. I guess you are at about three weeks now, which is a great time. That fogginess should be lifting for you. Three weeks/four weeks is when I realized, hey, I AM JUST DOING THIS!!!!! I CAN DO THIS!!! What I did was, I purposely relocated myself 1000 miles away from any known sources or contacts, so I left myself no choice. Had I not done this, I never would have gottten clean, but there you are, in your same home town with all the temptations about, staying clean. Friend, it is all downhill from here. Also, I have some insight as to your discovery of your true origins, not the details but the process, if you would like me to share. I am somewhat an expert on what you describe. Anyway, hang in there, you are doing great. Peace and God Bless... Meg
By all means share your insights. Not sure if you can email me directly or go ahead and post it here.
Wow, that was nice. I almost cried.:) You have done amazing.Keep going, and you are going to be so happy.Good luck.:)
Amen and Amen.
God Blesses, huh? :)
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