Friday, December 5, 2008

Day 4: Part 1

Manic dream state always wakes me up. Having 3 or 4 dreams all at once. Its like showing multiple movies on the same screen at the same time. Cant make sense of anything. Maybe 20 or 30 minute shifts of sleep and thats it. Sleeping has become a major issue. Still got the sweats. Atleast they are coming and going now. Feel like i got a low grade flu. But things are looking up. Symptoms are starting to taper off. They have become off and on. Meaning at times dont feel to bad. Gaining some clarity. Cant stop thinking about all the stupid things i did, time i wasted and people i hurt.

Heading outside for the first time in 4 days. Aw, fresh air and moderate sunshine. The activity should do me some good. Its gonna be a tough go. Going to a clinic to check out some maybe free detox help. We will see how it goes. Dreading the sickness relapse. In the past whenever i have detoxed around day 4 i feel ok. Then i will get a 12-16 hour relapse were i will be just as sick as day 2. Which is always the worst day. Lets hope not.

No comments: